


Just a toy

by SunshimDreemurr



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Depression, I am so sorry, Kinda?, i wrote this way too fast, spinel is tired, there is no happy ending its just sad, there might be mistakes but its angsty so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-18 00:29:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20630081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshimDreemurr/pseuds/SunshimDreemurr
Summary: Spinel is tired, but she wants to continue to be useful to the diamonds.Spoilers for the SU movie, of course





	1. Chapter 1

For once, she didn’t want to play

She was tired,  _ exhausted _ from playing so much. Her games weren’t fun to her anymore, but the Diamonds constantly wanted her to play. She liked playing, but they always picked the same game. Ones that reminded them all of Pink. Pink Diamond.

She hated Pink. She would sometimes get upset and cry about her, but she never cried in front of the other Diamonds. She didn’t want to ruin their days, or upset them at all. If she upset them, then they might leave her, and she couldn’t be alone, she wouldn’t be able to handle it, she-   
  


Taking a deep breath, she glanced up at the Diamonds above her, before giggling. “Do you wanna play hide and seek?” she asked. “I can hide, and you guys work together to find me!” She offered, but she really just wanted to hide away from the Diamonds.

Blue Diamond was the first to speak up, smiling warmly. “Oh, yes, that would be fun!”

Yellow Diamond scoffed. “We already know every inch of this palace, and White can just see where you are.”

White Diamond nodded, crossing her arms. “How about you juggle some more?”

Spinel watched, then sighed softly, before jumping at Yellow’s annoyed grumble.

“You’re tired? Already?” she scoffed, causing Spinel to stutter in panic

“N-No, my diamond-”

“Just get it over with,” White frowned. “Come on, you look cute juggling!”

Spinel sighed, then pulled out four juggling balls out of her gem, starting to juggle all of them. She was tired of this, it wasn’t fun, but she did smile a little when White clapped. She nodded, then started to toss some of the balls through her arms, which started to loop around.

Yellow watched, scoffing. “Come on, White, how is  _ this _ entertaining?”

“I think she looks really cute! Like a little pretzel!” White smiled.

Blue chuckled and smiled. “I can see it too.”

Yellow groaned. “All she’s doing is throwing some balls! I want to see her dancing!”

White frowned. “No, it’s not your turn to play with her!” 

Blue whimpered, reaching out for the two. “Calm down, we’ll all get to hang out with her!”

Spinel watched, stumbling a little, before wincing as she dropped one of the balls.

She could feel the eyes on her, almost judgingly. She hesitated, grabbing the other three in one arm, reaching out to grab the other, before pausing as White reached out and picked it up between her large fingers.

“Here, you can do whatever these two want to do.” White frowned, watching as Blue reached out to pick up Spinel.

Spinel let her, not really having any will to resist. She wasn’t made to resist, she was made to entertain and make other people happy. So that’s what she did! She didn’t understand why she was so tired, why being near the Diamonds made her so tired. She wasn’t supposed to feel emotions, so why does she feel this way?

Blue smiled and glanced at Yellow. “Can we please play hide and seek first?”

Yellow sighed, before shrugging. “Fine, whatever.” She said, glaring at Spinel. “I hope that you’ll dance for us if we win.”

Blue watched, staring at Spinel, before adding an almost forced “please?” onto the sentence.

Spinel faked a smile and nodded, bouncing a little. “Yeah, okay!” She beamed, before glancing around. “Can you sit me down again?”

Blue nodded, sitting down Spinel, watching the little gem run off and bounce. Spinel was laughing, her shoes squeaking as she ran down the hallway.

After a while though, Spinel collapsed. She didn’t know exactly where she was, but she knew she was hidden, and she curled up the instant she noticed she was hidden. She wanted to not think anymore, she didn’t want to play. She actually kinda wanted a hug, but the diamonds were too big, and probably wouldn’t want to hold a ‘lesser’ gem like her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven visits the diamonds.

Steven was talking to the Diamonds in the next room over, Spinel watching from a doorframe. She didn’t want to interrupt, but she wished she could run over and hug Steven, needing something. She wanted to be held, to be  _ loved _ , like Steven was from the other gems. 

But when she was called over by the Diamonds, she didn’t say anything.

White Diamond was the first to smile, reaching over and offering a hand up to Spinel, the smaller gem jumping on the hand, and getting off when the hand moved over in front of Steven.

“She’s in perfect working order!” White commented, causing Steven to frown.

“The word you’re looking for is  _ healthy _ , I hope,” Steven frowned, before smiling at Spinel. “But you look happy!”

Spinel nodded, trying to make sure there was a smile on her face as she bounced. “Yeah! I’m having loads of fun with the Diamonds!”

Steven smiled, then glanced up at the Diamonds themselves.

Blue was the first to speak up, smiling. “She hasn’t cried at all while we’ve had her!” She commented, causing Steven to glance at Spinel, thinking.

Spinel noticed the staring, paused for a second, before speaking up. “I haven’t had any reason to cry! I love it here!” She said, exaggerating her smile and bouncing excitedly, causing Blue to giggle and smile as well.

Steven chuckled, then nodded. “Alright! Well, I best be going!” he said, waving goodbye to Spinel and the Diamonds, walking off to the warp pad.

Yellow Diamond beamed, then as soon as Steven warped off, she reached to pick up Spinel, holding her in her hands.

“Hey, Spinel, do you think you can dance and sing?” She asked, tilting her head

Singing. That’s one thing she rarely did infront of anyone. What would the Diamonds even want to hear a song about? She wasn’t sure.

But, it was her job to entertain. She didn’t even know how to do anything else, but if it made the diamonds happy…

She tried to come up with something entertaining, but ended up singing nothing important in particular, random words that came to her head, something about the Diamonds, more random words… She danced, she could feel she was dancing, but she was less focused than a moment ago. She was focused just enough to do her job, and that’s all she could ask for.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue Diamond visits Spinel.

The few times she was alone, she didn’t know what to do with herself. She would stare at the ceiling of her room, though it was technically Pink Diamond’s room.

There wasn’t much to do at all on homeworld; she didn’t know anyone and she was too scared to talk to anyone outside of the Diamond’s Palace, so she stayed inside.

Maybe she could befriend the guards, or something. She didn’t know if they were up for talking, though, since they usually talked among themselves.

She stared at her hands, counting her fingers and humming boredly. She wished she could go back to the garden again, but she didn’t know how she’d feel, since that’s where Pink left her.

Was this all because she was Pinks? She frowned, sitting up and curling her arms around herself. Was she only useful because they saw her as another Pink Diamond? She wouldn’t be annoying by asking for a colony or something, so that was a bonus. She remembered vaguely the faces of annoyance from the Diamonds talking to Pink about her colony, but-

The door to her room opened, causing her to stand to attention with a smile. She didn’t want to disappoint. 

Blue Diamond was the one to reach out for Spinel, picking her up akin to if she was a toy, holding her softly yet firmly.

“Hello, Spinel!” Blue smiled and waved with her other hand.

Spinel beamed and rubbed her face, waving her other hand.

Blue, noticing Spinel seemed tired, frowned. “Do you need to rest?” She said, with an undertone of annoyance.

Spinel shook her head, bouncing and smiling. “Oh, no, I’m fine!” She insisted, beaming and trying to keep her appearances up.

Blue nodded, then started carrying her out of the room. “That’s good! White Diamond wants you to juggle for her again, doesn’t that sound fun?”

Spinel didn’t want to juggle. Spinel wanted to talk, to take a break, to do anything  _ but _ juggle, it seemed. She nodded anyway.


End file.
